Articles

Articles

Caring & Interfering

Caring is to take care! Care is an activity involved in maintaining something in good working order! It is also associated with Safety, Feeling, Concern, Anxiety… all focused on preventing and/or treating!! Care denotes being in charge of!, too!

Interfering is to interfere! Getting involved, so as to alter or hinder an action, or through force or threat of force!

Caring requires intervention, but not Interference!

It happens mostly with some of us – possessive (caring?) parents, teachers, mentors and fatherly or motherly figures! We might extend our caring attitude a little too much which turns out to be interference for the recipient. Why is this so?

Caring is a time bound activity – not a lifelong need! Take for example health care! Doctors and hospitals ensure that the care is given till someone recovers, educates them to manage the condition and leave it to the recipient to run on their own – in a systemic and repeatable fashion. I think the schools do the same. There is always – teach, examine, feedback and move forward or backward – but not stay on the same course for ever! But when we miss this “time” factor, we ensure turning caring into interfering!

In parent – child relationships, we seem to forget this time factor and ensure this mess, again and again. Most kids growing up appreciating their parents for all the help, guidance and care – that comes without asking, will soon start hating, avoiding and moving away in their adolescence or teen age! If we miss this signal and continue our unsolicited caring, kids find their own path mostly in the anti-route!

Care without any expectation or ideology seems to remain healthy and appreciated! – life long!! The moment we start influencing our ideology, expectation or own unfulfilled/ desired dreams on our children or similar relationships with loved ones, our caring behavior seems to turn towards interfering!!!

One nugget found on the path is to adopt a key strategy of – Lead, Follow and Get-out-of-the-way!

Leading kids to whatever we feel is the right direction/path, following their adoption/results to help modify the path while we learn from their experiences and getting out of their way when time is ripe for them to create and lead their own paths, definitely reinforces faith in care – a timely, time bound, action to help people have their lives!

I think this is true with all human relationships which are not bound by monetary transactions! So, if we care for someone, I think it is important not to influence own ideology but adopt – Lead, Follow and Get-Out-of-the-Way action plan!

 

caring

Stonecutter!

Once upon a time there was a stonecutter. Each day he went up to the mountains to cut stones. And while he worked he sang for, though he was a poor man, he desired no more than he had, so he had not a care in the world.

One day he was called to work on the mansion of a nobleman. When he saw the magnificence of the mansion he experienced the pain of desire for the first time in his life and he said with a sigh, If only I were rich! The I would not have to earn my living in sweat and toil as I do now.

Imagine his astonishment when he heard a voice say, “Your wish has been granted. Henceforth anything you desire will be given to you.” He did not know what to make of the words till he returned to his hut that evening and found in its place a mansion as magnificent as the one he had been working on. So the stonecutter gave up cutting stones and began to enjoy the life of the rich.

One day when the afternoon was hot and humid he happened to look out of his window and saw the king go by with a large retinue of noblemen and slaves. He thought, “How I wish I were a king myself, sitting in the cool of the royal carriage!” His wish was promptly carried out and he found himself reclining in the comfort of the royal carriage. But the carriage turned out to be warmer than he had assumed it to be. He looked out of the carriage window and began to marvel at the power of the sun whose heat could penetrate even the thick walls of the carriage. “I wish I were the sun,” he said to himself. Once again his wish was granted and he found himself sending out waves of heat into the universe.

All went well for a while. Then on a rainy day, he attempted to pierce through a thick bank of clouds and could not. So he got himself changed into a cloud and gloried in his power to keep the sun away – till he turned into the rain and found, to his annoyance, a mighty rock that blocked his path so he was obliged to flow around it.

“What?” he cried. “A mere rock more powerful than I? Well, then I wish to be a rock.” So there he was standing tall upon a mountainside. He barely had time to rejoice in his fine figure, however, when he heard strange chipping sounds proceeding from his feet. He looked down and, to his dismay, found a tiny human being sitting there engaged in cutting chunks of stone from his feet.

“What?” he shouted. “A puny creature like that more powerful than an imposing rock like me? I want to be a man!” So he found he was once again a stonecutter going up into the mountain to cut stone earning his living in sweat and toil but with a song in his heart because he was content to be what he was and to live by what he had.

Nothing is as good as it seems before we get it!

Hebbar's Blog!

what is your manifesto?

banner_crowd_standout650

Dreams belong to the category of good intentions. But what matters most to our world is not just intentions � actions following those good dreams! Dreamer doers have figured out a way to establish a good set of intentions and reinforce them with solid actions strengthened continuously by feedback of results � a typical self sustained control system!

We have seen fizzling, fading, fearful dreamers. Blame it on nature, environment, necessities, compulsions, changing demands of life�. dreams that end or disappear weakly are mostly based on loose foundations. A good set of intentions coupled with a solid personal value system, provide a firm foundation for building a meaningful, broader but focused dream liners�

Borrowed wisdom says making our intentions public has its own merit in ensuring a close loop system of balance and natural follow-up. Peers, friends and own circle of influencers help us remember our own set of intentions and question every action within this framework � making us keep up to our promise of dream doing!

If we all intend to be dreamer doers within companies we work for, there can be a single manifesto!! Here is one such depiction from Friebergs�. Worth to keep a tab and making it relevant in own pursuits�

The
Manifesto
for Blowing the Doors off Business-as-usual
� Copyright 2007 by freibergs, a San Diego Consulting Group, Inc. company

We Are Designed to Choose�and Defined by Choice!

The freedom to choose may be the most powerful attribute and precious resource I have in my life. It shapes who I become, the success I achieve, and my influence in the world. I am a product of my choices, not my conditions. Therefore, I have made the following decisions:

In the game of life there are players and those who shrink from their God-given abilities. Players charge on to the field with passion, energy and a desire to win�sometimes they get their hands dirty, their faces sweaty and their bodies bloody and bruised by giving their all to the game.

I Choose be a Player

Using I don�t have authority is an excuse for doing nothing. Leadership is not a title, nor is it a position; it�s a choice. I will lead where I am planted.

My happiness, job satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, and ultimate success depend upon ME not THEM. When I refuse to shift the responsibility for these things to someone else I stop being a victim! I recognize that the REAL OPPONENT is out there among our competitors, not in here among my teammates. I will collaborate.

People, can be foolish, stupid, abrasive, insensitive, self-centered and dishonest, but I will not be held hostage by anger and resentment. I will forgive. By doing this�

I Choose to be Accountable

The world is not here to make me happy. My happiness comes from using my gifts to serve the world. To give unselfishly is to gain immeasurably.

I Choose Service Over Self-interest

I can focus on what isn�t working, why it can�t be done, and who�s to blame or I can focus on what is working, how it can be done, and what I want to achieve. I can be part of the solution or part of the problem. I will move from �YA BUT�� to �YES AND�� and �WHAT IF�?�

I Choose to Focus Forward

My work is my signature�a statement about me, it determines my reputation. I will make it a masterpiece. To know that my work counts is to know that I count. If I engage in work that makes me come alive the world will beat a path to my door.

I Choose to Play to My Genius

No one is paying me today for what I did yesterday. When I stop bringing something of value to the game, the game is over. I am dedicated to results over rhetoric and red tape.

I Choose to Get It Done

Life without risk and adventure is a life not fully lived. I will never discover my true capabilities unless I explore the boundaries and test the limits of what I can achieve. How I handle fear is my choice. If I choose to face it and step through it, fear loses its stronghold giving creativity and innovation a chance to flourish. If I repress or run from fear, it gains strength and enslaves me. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

I Choose to Risk More and Gain More

————————

http://www.flipkart.com/affiliateiframe.php?bc=FFFFFF&tc=000000&lc=0000FF&buy=yes&isbn=8189975269&affid=INManjublo&type=3&border=no